A chat with Black Moms Connection founder Tanya Hayles

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Tanya Hayles, Founder, Black Moms Connection

When the boy child was 5 years old, he called me ‘Blackie’ and proudly told me that his friend from school told him that ‘Blackie’ was another word for Black people.  To say I was shocked, upset, angry was an understatement.

That moment, that time the boy child called my a racial slur, was my awakening.   Aside from the racial slur, this was the period when the boy child decided he didn’t want to be black, that he wanted blond straight hair. It was the time he would cry anytime I came near his head with a comb.  It was also the summer I had to explain to a crying six year old that no, he couldn’t have the toy gun that someone had bought him for his birthday, because a little boy named Tamir Rice had just been killed, playing with a toy gun in a park.  And, it was the summer that I was kicked out of a mainstream moms group because I was looking for support and asked if any other Black moms wanted to connect. Despite all this…it was the summer I found my village…Black Moms Connection.

In the season 2 finale of the Woke Mommy Chatter podcast, I chat with the founder of the Black Moms Connection group, Tanya Hayles about all things Black Motherhood….and Black Panther…just because.

Subscribe to the Woke Mommy Chatter podcast anywhere you get your podcasts.

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/…/po…/wokemommychatter/id1293971353

Libsyn: http://wokemommy.libsyn.com

SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/wokem

 

Searching for my own Wakanda

Killmonger-WKabi-and-TChalla-Black-PantherThe Black Panther movie was epic!  It was magnificent and just completely and utterly excellent.  But, it also left me thinking about the complicated connection that all of us of African ancestry, living in the diaspora, have to the land from which our ancestors were taken.  My own family tree is a network of blank spots and unanswered questions. Simply, because we don’t know the answer to the question of who our people were. Our history of quite literally stolen from us.

My sister though, has spent over 10 years trying to piece together the pieces of our family history and on the latest episode of the Woke Mommy Chatter podcast, I talk to her about her journey, reveal her DNA test results and chat about a family ancestor that could be the key to our African roots.

//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/6279379/height/90/theme/custom/autoplay/no/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/backward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/87A93A/“>Listen to the Podcast

 

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Subscribe to the Woke Mommy Chatter podcast anywhere you get your podcasts.

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/…/po…/wokemommychatter/id1293971353

 

The One Where We Talk About Black Love

Woke Mommy Chatter – The Podcast is back with 8 new episodes.  We are kicking off season 2 with an episode on Black Love.  I chat with Destinii and Brandon from the @BlaqLoveSoul Instagram blog about the beauty of Black love, some of the challenges and their own love story.

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Brandon and Destinii, creators of the @BlaqLoveSoul Instagram blog.

Black love truly is beautiful, in some ways it is revolutionary.  It is defiance in the face of injustice and racism.   Black love is perseverance, in a society that has attempted for years to undermine black relationships, to strip black people of their ability to love each other, to uphold each other and to bond with each other.

Black love is comfort, home, it a sense of security and peace in knowing that you are enveloped in an embrace of those who share common experiences, who understand the struggle, who strive to achieve despite all odds.

Black love stands strong in the face of societal pressure from billboards, and commercials and marketing campaigns and television shows and memes, and Instagram posts that seek to perpetuate the myth that black love is dying. That it no longer exists, that its blackness is toxic.

Black love is community, it is protests, it is standing hand in hand, and it is support for each other, supporting neighbours, supporting family.  It is hope in the future. It is uplifting.

Black love is resistance, it is a fist in the air, it is the power of convictions, it is striving towards change, it is people who dedicate themselves to their community, it is unapologetic in its blackness.

Black love is pride.

Black love is hurt and pain.  It is complicated.  It is the grief of communities destroyed by lack of opportunities and injustice of biased societal structures that uphold white supremacy.  It is fear for black children, for our partners, for ourselves.

Black love is migration, it is building a future away from those you love, communities you love, in the hopes that the generations after will do better.  It is sacrifice. It is courage

Black love is beautiful.  It is Sunday afternoon hair days, and cook-outs and worship.  Is carnival and bacchanals and dance hall.   It is celebration.

Black love is empowering.  It is community. It is about thriving against all odds.  It is about defying the oppressor.   Black love will always be political.  Black love will always be divisive, black love will always exist.

Black love is everything.

Listen to the Black Love episode of the Woke Mommy Chatter podcast.

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Subscribe to the Woke Mommy Chatter podcast anywhere you get your podcasts.

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/…/po…/wokemommychatter/id1293971353